Spirits

I found the spirit that I needed

It lifted me up from my chair.

Paused my breathing.

It was raw yet frigid,

Clawed at my throat.

Though it lacked weight

This drink helped me float.

It flowed in my glass- mirror

Image of myself looking back,

Fuzzy like my vision,

Blurred like my past.

To a witness in the bar they

See a fallen figure double down

Dousing fires in their soul

But the liquor burns them quicker,

Till the fire behind their eyes

 let’s you gaze into their hell.

I prayed I’d never do this:

Never follow a father,

Who preached Vatican titles,

Yet smothered his issues

in booze and substance abuse.

Then went to church the next day

and begged for his forgiveness,

who then came later anyway

continuing misuse.

I’m not a man of faith

But I will not be a liar

Ill pray to any god who’ll love me,

Stop me drinking

Like my father.